A Reluctant Beginning

I'm not quite sure how to feel about beginning a new blog.

My absence from the blogging "community" (should the word "blogging" and "community" even be in the same sentence?) has been a considerable amount of time. As most of you already know, I maintained a blog for my excursion to Costa Rica. My Costa Rica blog was not necessarily something that I used as a writing outlet, but more as a practical way of informing all my loved ones of my current state of being. Aside from the Costa Rica blog, my blogging past has been a shady one : composed mostly of cheesy high school posts that eerily resemble devotional books aimed at pre-teens.

Neglecting the fact that I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the Xanga glory days, there are a few other reasons that I have feelings of reluctance towards blogging.

1 : I feel that to a certain extent internet communication makes it entirely too easy to feel a false sense of intimacy and connection with whoever I am messaging, reading about, or just blatantly creepin on. It bothers me how many people are incredibly vulnerable over forms of communication such as blogging, texts, aim, etc, and yet will never verbally speak a vulnerable word within an actual conversation. I suppose rejection and the risk of looking stupid is easier when there is a computer screen to hide behind.

2 : The art of writing in a journal is something that I really hope never dies. Handwritten words seem to carry a much heavier weight of sincerity than disposable words typed on a keyboard.

3 : Along with the previous thought, I feel that blogging is almost too efficient. I despise the idea of creating as much as you can as quickly as possible. This is the very ideal that I have been at war with this past year. With blogging I can record my thoughts almost too quickly, which goes against the very principles in which I'm trying to base my life upon. The theme of efficiency seems to be the thief that robs me of my patience.

4 : If I have a blog, I will spend more time on the computer and less time doing other things that might possibly be more beneficial.

So now that I have listed all my reasons as to why I am reluctant, I think that it would only be sensible to explain my reasons for why I am even attempting to blog again.

1 : Since I am currently not in school, writing in a public form will be beneficial in maintaing my grammar and spelling. Not only that, but writing it will encourage me to think on a deeper level about the opinions or thoughts that I choose to write about.

2 : I enjoy writing.

3 : Due to my current living situation, I do not have many people around that I can verbally share my thoughts and ideas with.

4 : The majority of the people who might read this blog are dear friends who unforunately do not live within a close proximity to me.

I suppose that I will give this a shot for a little while, or maybe a long while.

Perhaps next time my whole blog won't revolve around the subject of blogging.